Phai's big secret
by goldenboat
Summary: October is a very special month for us Alex and Phai lovers. The story is my dedication to this wonderful man. It's a part of the range of stories I am doing on the theme of 'Secret' .Hephaistion has a big secret. Will Alexander be able to know it? Reviews are love:)


Alexander was a little confused. And that wasn't even half the truth. Since that day when Cassander told him something about Phai…he was full of questions that needed answers. And his skin felt too tight. The worst thing was that he had to know about it from someone else.

It all started two days ago. Classes were over and boys were sitting in the sunlit garden. The sun was bright yet wonderfully mellow. Everyone was there save Phai, who was sent for an errand by Aristotle himself. They were huddled together in a small circle playing _**Morra**_*. Each was guessing the numbers and laughing loudly when guesses were wrong. Alexander was not doing well. All his guesses were going horribly. He knew that he was too distracted. But he couldn't help it. He was too distracted. Phai was gone for a few hours and he was not back yet. It went from bad to worse when he lost to Cassander.

Ptolemy who seemed to have guessed his unease didn't laugh at his loss. He looked at Alexander with soft eyes and said, "It happens Alex! It seems that today isn't yours."

Alexander nodded sadly. But Cassander gave a shrill laugh and looked at him with teasing eyes. "All your guesses are going wrong my prince! It seems that you have lost your edge in the art of guessing."

Alexander started to protest but was promptly stopped by Ptolemy with a friendly hand on his shoulders. "That's enough Cass! I think you should stop." he warned.

But Cassander continued. "No Ptolemy. Our prince should know about it. After all he can't guess what his so called best friend is up to!"

Alexander's insides tightened. He narrowed his eyes and asked, "What, in the name of Zeus are you talking about?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" came the answer.

It has been gnawing at his mind since that day. Phai was in his usual self noble, studious, mischievous and strong…. brave and beautiful as ever.

While Alexander's mind was being crisscrossed, the object of his thoughts sneaked up behind him and blew on his nape, causing his golden haired friend to startle.

"Phai!" he cried "You always do that!"

"And you always react in the same manner!" Hephaistion laughingly replied.

After that they fell into a lull. They stood by the window side by side looking at the setting sun. The orange rays were scattered everywhere, lending their ever known world an ethereal beauty. For once in his life, Alexander didn't know where to begin. His throat felt dry and he didn't even know the reason behind it.

"Phai?" he began.

At that Hephaistion replied with a mild "Hmmmmm?" He seemed too lost in the setting sun.

"Cassander told me something today." replied his golden haired companion.

"He is always telling everyone everything. There's no surprise in that!" Hephaistion jokingly declared.

Alexander drew a long breath. "He told me that you have a secret Phai!" he uttered.

The simple words transformed the calm demeanor that Hephaistion was projecting so far. His eyes grew somewhat cold. He looked at his golden haired friend and shook his head. "Even if I had one, nobody has anything to do with it. It's mine." he said.

Something broke inside the golden haired boy. He hadn't ever seen his friend so defensive. "Not even me Phai?" he whispered.

At that the brunette smiled. He reached out his hands and rumpled the golden mane of his best friend. "I'm all here Alex. Is it really necessary to see the little part of me that's not?" Hephaistion asked.

At that Alexander grew serious. He shook his head furiously and answered back, "Absolutely not Phai! I want all of you here with me." Hephaistion looked at the much loved face of his friend and saw all the warning signs. Alex was about to pout. It was an old habit of his. First he would pout. Then he would put on an air of gloom and give him imploring eyes till his demands were met. The only effective medicine of a pouty and gloomy Alex was to distract him. But as well as it worked on the young Alexander, it won't on this one. The Alex standing in front of him was on the verge of manhood. He was wiser and calmer and couldn't be easily deceived. He still pouted a lot. But the childish anger had given way to a stubbornness that seemed more befitting. Hephaistion chose to follow a different path.

He looked at his friend in his eyes and asked, "You tell me Alex, what do you think it is?"

Alexander looked at his companion with narrowed eyes and answered, "You are sighing for some one. Aren't you?"

Hephaistion's eyes widened. "Sighing for….what?" he burst out laughing.

Alexander's face broke into a frown. "Don't laugh Phai! I heard the stable boys speaking about it. When you have feelings for someone you sigh a lot. And you look at the night sky with dreamy eyes and write poems." he blurted out.

"Ok! Have you seen me doing either? Sighing and writing poems?" Hephaistion enquired.

Alexander thought about. No, Phai didn't do those things. "No Phai." he began, "All you do at night is, study, sleep and snore."

"I don't have a secret Alex. You would have known if I had." he said looking at the two colored eyes.

Alexander relaxed. He let Cassander mistrust his best friend. Now that he had spoken to Phai, it seemed a little childish. He smiled brightly at his friend and said, "Ok Phai. I am feeling famished. Let me fetch us something to eat." he said and went out of their chamber.

With Alexander out of sight, Hephaistion looked at the darkened sky and drew a long breath of relief. It was entirely his fault to begin with. A couple of days ago, they were in the middle of a class when he had looked at Alex who was biting his lips distractedly….and sighed. Cassander had caught him in the act and had been teasing him ever since. And Hephaistion was helpless.

Lately he was feeling all sorts of emotions that he could no longer explain. As if, all of a sudden he had discovered a new being living within the body of his. Old feelings of friendship were giving way to something new and better. He knew what it was. But it was much too soon to disclose it and bring it in the open. The centre of all his thoughts, the subject of all his dreams and the heart of all his nightly prayers was still unconscious. Alexander was still a boy. He needed and depended on his best friend like he needed fresh air. He dreamt of being a great warrior and a noble ruler, of exalted ideals and mythical heroes, of his frustrations and hidden fears. But when it came to his feelings, he was still the pouty little boy Hephaistion had met all those years back. He would wait till the golden haired boy became a man and share his feelings. Until that day came, he would do what he was best at…being Alex's best friend.

When the right time approached, they would be something much much more. He would wait till Alex realized about their shared destinies.

That was his big secret.

_*Morra was an ancient Greek game played by Greek children. It consisted of guessing the correct numbers of fingers the opponent will show behind his back. The players make a fist behind their back and show their hands at the signal, displaying zero to five fingers. The player who guesses correct numbers wins._


End file.
